sheer!

T-Minus Two Weeks 'Til Morocco....

2011-04-20T20:56:00.002-04:00

And it better go just like this....

(via go-maroc.com)

Quirkiest Tchotchke Ever?

2011-04-19T21:35:00.002-04:00

I bought this today at Catbird. Not sure why, perhaps it's because I only have a month left here in Brooklyn, and my Catbird obsession will probably go unrequited when I'm in South America and Los Angeles. And geodes are so hip right now.

Anyway, after looking at it for a while, I started to get Georgia O'Keeffe vibes from it. Agree, or disagree?

Just Back From Italy...

2011-04-10T09:00:00.005-04:00

And I'm happy to report that it was one of the craziest* trips of my life. The food, the scenery, the weather, the petty criminals, the hot cops, the ugly waiters, the men, the wine, the men.... Anyway, here's a smattering of some photos I took using my iPhone camera (after my favorite Pendleton purse was stolen, along with my credit cards and camera in Florence).

Between Milan, Cinque Terre, Florence, Rome, Tuscany, and Lake Como, my favorite place was definitely Rome – hence bolstering my belief that I am and always will be a Big City Person.

For more coverage, you can check out my AOL Travel posts on driving in Italy and 24 hours in Lake Como.

Sigh. When can I go back?

*This post is dedicated to the best flight attendant ever, Dolce, of American Airlines. Thank you, sister. THANK YOU.

This is What Came on My iPod...

2011-04-08T23:21:00.004-04:00

Upon leaving my office today. SO APPROPE. Remember this post? I do! It might have been three years since I wrote that, but the gears are finally in motion to make it a reality. This calls for smileys :)

Yup. It's happening!

#MEMEories

2011-03-11T10:12:00.001-05:00

Creepiest ever.

I ♥ the New Cut Copy

2011-01-20T14:19:00.002-05:00

"Need You Now" is my favorite of the day. So '80s, so dreamy. And that artwork? Sheer amazing.

Bahama Mammas

2011-01-19T21:14:00.004-05:00

Jenny C and I are just back from a few days at the Sheraton Nassau Beach Resort, where we tore it up, laughed, danced (and injured my back on a beach lounge chair... long story...)

We made use of the Bahamas' free companion airfare offer, making this the second MLK holiday in a row that I've escaped to the Miami-Bahamas area for the long weekend.

I wonder where I'll be next year......

New Destroyer Video: "Kaputt"

2011-01-06T10:38:00.002-05:00

I'm looking forward to the forthcoming Destroyer album "Kaputt," which will be available January 25. And now, thanks to this spectacular new title track video (via Pitchfork), there's obviously a lot more to be excited about. Flying whales, mid-90s pimple perv teen, and mystical dance sequence? Check, check and check.

Best. Concert. Ever.

2010-12-19T19:32:00.004-05:00

(Prince at Madison Square Garden, December 18, 2010)

Berlin

2010-12-01T22:38:00.001-05:00

I just got back from visiting my lovely friend Ashley and some of her awesome crew in Berlin. What a terrific week, and a fabulous way to spend Thanksgiving -- in a big German apartment in Neukölln, filled with about 40 people from all around the world (and plenty of Brooklyn expats!). Other highlights of the journey included a 24-hour stint in Prague, "blind dining" at unsicht-Bar, wandering through the beautiful Christmas markets, and meeting my all-time favorite animal celeb, Knut the polar bear (he is addicted to fame and will swim up to you if you call his name or wave to him!!! Ahhh!!).

It was quite an inspirational trip and couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I enjoyed Germany quite a bit, and hope to return soon -- and ideally in the summer, next time.

I ♥ the New Tame Impala Video

2010-11-09T11:20:00.001-05:00

Things I Learned From My 18-Hour Flight From South Africa

2010-09-17T16:30:00.004-04:00

One of the boldest parts of my recent trip to South Africa was the flying itself. For someone who hates being on a plane, this was a real challenge for me. 100% in coach, 100% cut off from the world, 100% exhausting -- it made quite the impression on me. Here are some of the things I'm taking away from the experience.

1. Always order the vegetarian meal. Your food will come out separately (likely before everyone else's), and it's usually pasta or a safer bet than the main meal choices. On our flight to South Africa, we ate baked ziti, while the rest of the flight was stuck with the choice between fish and chips or some derivative beef option.

2. You'll get sprayed. That's right! On the return flight to NYC, South African Airways makes a stop (9 hours into the flight) in Dakar. The lights get turned on, your Ambien wears off a bit, and people come on board to search bags. The crew gets switched for the final leg across the Atlantic, and then ... flight attendants spray disinfectant throughout the air. The stuff is pungent, be prepared to cover your face with a blanket or sweater.

3. You'll feel kinda crazy. Indeed, waking up and drifting off, drinking wine and drifting off, walking to the bathroom 7 times on one flight... it becomes something of a dream state that starts to make very little sense after the first 10 hours. Do. Not. Panic!

4. You'll watch movies that you don't want to admit to. Being stuck in that seat will SEVERELY lower your entertainment standards. I'm talking "Prince of Persia." I'm talking "The A-Team." I'm not revealing anything else.

5. Pills. Don't forget the pills!

6. You will be able to say that you were on one of the longest nonstop flights in the world. And all you got was this lousy leg cramp.

7. It can be kinda dark. The flight back from Johannesburg to JFK departs Jo'Berg at nightfall, and follows the timezones throughout the night. That means you only see the blue skies again right before you land in NYC... it might not sound too crucial, but being in a vacuum of darkness for 18 hours makes the situation all the more surreal.

8. No flight will ever seem long again. Hopping on a plane to Europe will feel like a day at the spa compared to this intense haul.

Ahhhhh.

2010-09-11T09:13:00.002-04:00

Watch Caetano Veloso / Cucurrucucu Paloma in World | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

I Beweave!

2010-07-09T10:33:00.004-04:00

Laura Bell Bundy is a country singer/Broadway actress who has a surprisingly awesome talent for making viral videos as well. Right now, I'm currently obsessed with her Shocantelle Brown character, especially because I'd never expect the chick who played Elle Woods in the Broadway adaptation of "Legally Blonde" to be genuinely hilarious.

I haven't been this addicted to a YouTube character skit since John "My Son is Gay?" Roberts hit the scene. Cooter County is gonna blow up!

The Sheerest Lil' Pets Around

2010-07-05T22:49:00.000-04:00

I recently got to write a story for Paw Nation about pets who inherit ridiculous sums of money from their horrible/rich/quirky owners.

Leona Helmsley, Gail Posner and Oprah Winfrey -- oh, my!

Read it here.

I Might Need to Buy this One from Ye Olde Record Shoppe

2010-06-15T13:16:00.003-04:00

When the new Klaxons LP comes out late this summer, I think I'll be buying a hard copy of it. The artwork speaks for its-radical-self.

(I also posted about this on FREEwilliamsburg).

Pre-Season Escape to Montauk

2010-06-14T16:03:00.005-04:00

Montauk is so beautiful at this time of the year ... right on the precipice of the summer season, the crowds, the aviator glasses and gossip on the beaches about the "Real Housewives" have yet to arrive.

We spent this past weekend enjoying pre-season rates at Hartman's Briney Breezes, with plenty of fresh air, wine, and World Cup games.

A Weekend in Charleston

2010-06-03T18:18:00.003-04:00

Memorial Day Weekend was spent in Charleston this year, where I recieved some serious Southern Hospitality from my dear friend Savannah. I'd always heard fantastic things about the town, and most of them were accurate: Charleston's "cute" appeal is through the roof. While we were there, our itinerary ranged from the classic (lounging on the beach on Sullivan's Island), to the classy (a boat ride around the city + battery) to the trashy (a visit to the grave of Melanie Thornton, a.k.a. La Bouche).

Aside from a night spent battling the Formosan Termites, who swarmed in the hundreds of thousands for breeding, it was an incredibly relaxing weekend. I now understand why plenty of my friends have evacuated the northeast to call Charleston home. An autumn trip might be in order -- especially with such a short flight from NYC.

Partying With the Real Housewives

2010-05-05T10:35:00.004-04:00

On Monday night, my best friend and I had the pleasure of partying with the Real Housewives of New Jersey (as well as some other Bravo personalities). In our lifelong quest of pursuing sheer trash, this was a milestone.

Check out more photographic evidence in my Facebook album, and full coverage of the premiere party at The Brownstone via my post for PopEater.com.

I Can't.

2010-04-28T15:01:00.003-04:00

Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger Doritos... oh yes they did! For the true Frito-Lay connoisseur who craves Swiss n' beef flavor in their bag of pre-dawn, blackout shame.

As a recently born-again vegetarian AND a Doritos lover, this will present all sorts of new obstacles for me during late night/inebriated runs to the bodega.

Quote of the Day

2010-04-20T15:31:00.003-04:00

“At night I have possums, skunks, lots of raccoons. They come right in the house, through the cat door, and they bring their babies in. I get up at night and they’re in the kitchen, eating all the cat food.” (http://kl.am/b0Ap)

He will never stop impressing me.

#thingsiwant

2010-04-19T21:05:00.005-04:00

Colombia

2010-04-18T13:05:00.005-04:00

I've just returned from 6 days in Colombia, and it was without a doubt my favorite trip I've taken in the past year. It was my first time in South America, and a quick 5 hour flight whisked me to one of the most beautiful countries I've seen yet. The Andes flanking Bogota, the bougainvillea tumbling from the quaint buildings in Cartagena, the sounds and colors of the streets and the churning, changing weather patterns kept our senses super busy.

While there are stark contrasts between the rich and poor, most of the people we encountered were kind, helpful and happy. And contrary to its reputation as a scary place (chock full 'o kidnappers, violence, drug hawkers and "Colombian Devil's Breath"), I've seen more violence on a weekend trip to Boston -- and been offered drugs much more freely in places like Jamaica and Mexico than I was in Colombia.

Bogota and Cartagena were incredible, but I wish I had more time to explore the rest of Colombia. I'm convinced that it will become the next "hot spot" for backpackers and upscale vacationers alike quite soon, and I can't wait to go back someday.

Heeeeeey Dude!

2010-04-09T15:51:00.003-04:00

Wasn't "Hey Dude" the best? It was kind of esoteric and weird compared to some other kids' shows of that era (1990/91). They were just stuck at this boring ranch in the desert -- no school dances or beach montages for this crew. Just awkwardness and thinly veiled bigotry. Once "Pete and Pete" came around, it was totally overshadowed ... but with a theme song like this, my love will never be extinguished.

Sheer nostalgia!

Global Air Traffic Time Lapse

2010-04-08T16:32:00.002-04:00

Those who know me are well-aware of my sheer fear of flying. It never stops me from traveling -- however, it also never stops me from having plenty of cocktails before takeoff. But this video, which illustrates global air traffic over a one-day span, really puts things into perspective.

When you're in the air, you definitely aren't alone up there.

Via The Huffington Post.

Quote of the Day

2010-04-06T10:38:00.005-04:00

"Instead, she did what she always does: schlepped her two kids around Orlando, all elfin and inscrutable behind her reflective sunglasses, giving not the slightest indication of what on earth she could possibly be thinking." (http://kl.am/a7x8)

The Daily Beast whipped up an interesting commentary on Elin Nordegren's apparent non-action amid months+months of scandal. Ultimately, it's nobody's bid'ness what she does ... but I can't help but wonder why she chooses to not make a more clear-cut impression of herself as either a strong woman who is done+done, or a strong woman who is standing by her man and going the route of forgiveness. What's up with all the gas pumping and the lack of a solid public stance?

Can't Wait for "Sunset Daze"

2010-04-05T12:24:00.005-04:00

There's no way that "Sunset Daze" won't be my favorite show of the upcoming season. When my boyfriend tipped me off that a friend of his was looking to produce a "Real Golden Girls" reality show, I thought it was too fucking amazing to not happen -- and it looks like someone managed to land such a series on WeTV.

That's right -- the show will premiere on April 28th, featuring a cast of wacked-out seniors living it up to the fullest at an outrageous retirement home in Arizona. According to their bio pages, there's a matchmaker, a "wild child" and even an ex-nun. But I can immediately sense that Gail will be my idol (a wrinkled ball of sass with a scary wig).

According to the LA Times, we can expect "Steamy scenes in Jacuzzis, a wild night out at a gay rodeo, happy-hour makeout sessions, and conversations about sex toys."

Quote of the Day

2010-04-02T09:33:00.002-04:00

"The latest season of MTV's long-running program ended last night like a geriatric poodle falling down a flight of stairs. The show and the audience have changed drastically since it started. It is time to put the old girl down." http://kl.am/9SBW

It's true. "The Real World" is bottom-of-the-barrel trash. Somebody needs to Kevorkian that shit ASAP.

#babyscarface FTW

2010-03-29T16:44:00.005-04:00

What kind of elementary school hosts a play of "Scarface"? And how can I enroll my future children?

3/30/10 - UPDATE: It's fake. According to TMZ.

Winter Wonderland

2010-03-01T11:09:00.002-05:00

Whiteface Mountain -- Lake Placid, NY -- 2/28/10

Somebody Cloned My Dog...

2010-01-20T16:47:00.001-05:00

And sent her back in time, to a place where she was roughly 9 weeks old and the CUTEST THING ON THE PLANET. Friends, do you not agree that this is totes Lola circa December 2003???

Here's a Sheer One For My Scrapbook

2010-01-18T18:43:00.000-05:00

Or even better, for my blog dedicated to sheer trash!

(Spending a weekend in Miami with your gay husbands = delightful)

Baja Here We Come

2009-12-23T04:08:00.001-05:00

See you there, Jesus. Can't wait to end 2009 in style.

(image via partlytruthpartlyfiction)

Happy Winter Solstice

2009-12-21T11:34:00.001-05:00

Bet you wish you had one of these to keep you warm!

Bye Bye '09 -- Another Sheer Year

2009-12-18T17:58:00.015-05:00

2009 was pretty sheer. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being stellar), I'd rate this year somewhere around a 6. Thank goodness I have awesome friends+family+dear people in my sheerniverse that helped me survive the trash. In my life, the only year that was more retarded was 2006. Fuck 2006.

Go ahead, think for a moment about this year: there was a plethora of celebrity deaths, creepy sicknesses, crappy jobs (or lack thereof), and just plain uninsured/unemployed stressful nonsense. MJ died, for God's sake. I have no doubt that 2010 will be much better (if only because Jacko can't die again in 2010). If it does in fact get any worse I might make like R. Branson and move to outer space.

But '09 wasn't that bad. In fact, scrolling through my photos, there are more than a few delightful memories. From a boat named the "Shearwater" to a mystery trip to Jamaica, front row seats at the Maury show to a rowdy family vacay with the love of my life, here are 12 highlights from my year in sheer trash:

January - Winter Hike with Lola

February - Wild Teens on Maury

March -- Britney Spears' Circus Tour (in Newark, NJ, No Less)

April - Hanging out in the Shire

May - Paris in the Spring

June - Field Trip to Chester, NJ

July - The S.S. Shearwater

August - Fire Island

September - Autumn Commences

October - Thrillist's JetMystery

November - Hayden Hatteras Trip

December - Lola and Her Mini Tree

My Top Ten Animal Videos of 2009

2009-12-17T14:48:00.002-05:00

I've finished the most amazing assignment ever: a countdown of the best animal videos from this year. Jenny the Stroller Pug, Orgasm Turtle, Tickling Slow Loris -- they're all there for your viewing pleasure. So click over to Paw Nation for the full list and each video.

Seriously, if only life were always this fun!

I Wish This Was Real

2009-12-16T09:52:00.004-05:00

After all, it's not that far-fetched. And I do wonder what X-mas is like at the Haus of Gaga....

(via Landline TV)

UPDATE: Apparently it IS REAL -- via my Buzzfeed post, I was directed to this Amazon link and Lady Gaga's "Christmas Tree." YOWZAH!

Pan and James

2009-12-14T15:54:00.007-05:00

Alright, so this is a thing. A thing in Japan. And because the Japanese tend to get super weird with their animals, I can't say I wasn't expecting a show about a chimp and a bulldog BFF duo who "complete human tasks" to be anything less than nonsequitor amazingness. And the proof is in the puddin'.

After doing more research (a.k.a. looking at a Wikipedia entry) on Pan and James, I discovered that they're featured on a television show called "Tensai! Shimura Dōbutsuen" ("天才！志村動物園", lit. "Genius! Shimura Zoo"). The "Pan and James Running Errands" episode is often cited as their finest work. But that's BS, since "Pan with James' Babies" is clearly the cutest thing ever.

Zany language and cultural barriers aside, these two take my emotional cake for today.

Surprised Kitten #2

2009-12-10T10:20:00.003-05:00

Thank goodness this is becoming a trend!

Looks like surprised kitties are all over the place, and according to some experts the tiny-cutie-jazz-hands-freak-outs are "a normal postural play response." After the kind of week I've been having, this is fantastic news. If you find any more clips of 'em, send my way, because I need warm fuzzy things in my face more than ever.

(via Gothamist)

The Shout Out Louds Are Coming (Back)

2009-12-04T12:11:00.004-05:00

After a hiatus in 2009, one of my fave Scandinavian indie sensations will be returning with a new LP in February. The Shout Out Louds fill the void somewhere between The Cure, Stars, and borderline terrible emo-pop – and I love it.

Here’s the video for “Walls,” c/o Merge Records.

Blame it on the An-An-An-Ani-Animals

2009-12-01T07:01:00.004-05:00

Hello, you sexy world!

There's an exciting development in the Sheer!niverse: I've begun blogging for PawNation.com. This means a new place for me to funnel my fervent love for fuzzy bunnies/animals that look like Lola, my Great Pyrenees/tiny kittens/helpless creatures/Shetland Ponies/dogs in general et al. So far I've written pieces about Operation Migration, Twitter for Animal Lovers and the Cutest Dog Competition outcome (que scandal!!!).

You can subscribe to my posts here -- but only if you are prepared for the most important content EVER, buddy.

Aw, it's a Monkey on Karl Rove's Head! (WTF)

2009-11-30T12:26:00.011-05:00

Just got this press release delivered to my inbox:

"Crystal, star of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, makes friends with Karl Rove on Fox and Friends in celebration of the Blu-ray and DVD release on 12/1."

Whad'ya know? Looks like the brutal case of the Mondays I was dealing with this morning has officially been quelled.

(images via Click Communications)

I ♥ the New Yeasayer Video, "Ambling Alp"

2009-11-25T10:28:00.005-05:00

Yeasayer may have been dubbed "Brooklyn's Least Attractive Band" by a certain dear friend of mine, but they've crafted a visually stunning video for their new track "Ambling Alp." The imagery smacks of Star Wars, The Abyss and Holy Mountain references, but somehow they pull it off (after all, the song could serve well in an upbeat sci-fi adventure-quest). The band's next LP, Odd Blood, will be released in February, and I'm damn excited.

(video via Pitchfork)

Major Lazer, "Keep It Going Louder"

2009-11-24T16:41:00.004-05:00

Alright, this is just plain amazing. Major Lazer and Eric Wareheim have done it again and created a totally insane looking homage to booty shaking. The song will be stuck in my head for a week at least, but click below to watch the video and read my full analysis.

FREEwilliamsburg.com: New Major Lazer Video is Ass-id Trip-tastic.

Why Do I Remember These as Being Edible

2009-11-24T14:40:00.004-05:00

But not only edible.... delicious as well!

Even though I haven't sampled one in easily 15 years, my taste buds still remember the minty shamrock milkshake from McDonald's. Why they ever concocted this thing is beyond my imagination, but the synthetic flavor was amazing -- second only to the obscure banana milkshake available in the UK. Oddly enough, I am severely craving a shamrock shake right now (with a side of salty fries). MMmmMmmmmmMMM.

Prognosis: I am officially a sicko.

James Franco, Did You Lose a Big Bet?

2009-11-20T12:45:00.000-05:00

There can’t be many other reasons that he’d be starring on “General Hospital.” The “Pineapple Express” actor will play “an artist whose canvas is murder,” and dish out menacing lines like “anyone can die – at any time.” The cheese-tastic promo video is so surreal that it almost looks like a parody, but he will indeed begin his new role today.

Perhaps he’s fulfilling a promise he made to his grannie long ago, that someday, when he became a rich and famous actor, he would star on her favorite show

STATEN ISLAND ... The Movie

2009-11-18T12:47:00.003-05:00

I think I smell a field trip... anyone want to join me this weekend at the Stadium 16 Theatre for a homegrown screening of this gem?

The movie looks like sheer trash, but hey, at least it's not another godforsaken remake.

Disturbing "Got Milk" Boy

2009-11-17T12:35:00.002-05:00

This is great. Thanks Britt A. (:

Before + After

2009-11-15T10:20:00.006-05:00

Our trip to the Outer Banks was slightly disrupted by a massive tropical storm/hurricane/nor'easter that blew through and flooded the area where we were staying. These pics give an idea of how much the ocean changed. The good news is that we were with a fabulous crew of party people and we managed to keep ourselves from going stir crazy in the storm.

For more pictures of the destruction, check out my photo of a destroyed Porsche on Asylum, Jalopnik and/or Autoblog. There's also fantastic pictures of the "Nights in Rodanthe" house, which isn't looking so hot anymore, on this local OBX blog.

Ummm... Britney?

2009-11-12T10:48:00.000-05:00

Are you OK?

This Week Was Pretty Good....

2009-11-06T11:11:00.004-05:00

Sure, I could be upset. Bloomberg won the election, it's freeeeeezing outside, I still haven't been invited to Google Wave (thanks "friends"), the Real Houswives of Atlanta reunion was maddeningly lackluster and hairless bears are on the rise in a disturbing and freakish trend.

HOWEVER:

A. I'm heading out to the Outer Banks tonight, for a week of relaxation, reading and eating.

B. I got to be a hand model, which meant that work paid for a manicure. Yea, and I pantomimed jerking off the letter "L."

C. THIS:

Bjork <3s Sandwiches

2009-11-03T10:56:00.007-05:00

Halloween went well!

The Vice party got a spectacular amount of crummy press, but we enjoyed ourselves... especially Kevin on the mini ramp:

New Goal: Attend This Festival Next Year

2009-10-30T10:20:00.003-04:00

Urlesque posted yesterday about the Chiang Mai Yi Peng Festival (a Buddhist tradition in Northern Thailand) and I gotta say, the Buddhists have WAY cooler festivals than the hipster trash in NYC. My new goal is to check this out in person someday.

Look at the video, it's breathtaking.

Sleepy Babies

2009-10-27T10:21:00.001-04:00

It's that kind of day.

I Saw Leonard Cohen Friday Night!

2009-10-25T08:33:00.005-04:00

"Chelsea Hotel No. 2," Live at MSG - 10/23/09 from Elizabeth Brady on Vimeo.

And I made this crappy iPhone video to prove it.

Predictably, the concert was spectacular. It was a welcomed alternative to the madness of CMJ that was going on downtown. Cohen made a point that "I don't know when it is our intention to pass this way again," which was foreboding, kind of sad and made me eternally grateful that I had the chance to see him perform.

Head over to FREEwilliamsburg.com to get my larger review of the evening.

#JetMystery 2009

2009-10-22T15:57:00.002-04:00

Kevin and I had the pleasure of going on Thrillist's JetMystery trip over the weekend, and hot damn, was that fun! 170 new media/social networky/freelance editorial/inter-nerd types hopped on a rowdy Jet Blue flight, spent the weekend at the Iberostar Hotel and got to drink A LOT. There were also awesome activities like a private party at Sandals (NY Mag summed up that one pretty well). Best of all, I got to represent the Asylum.com brand and simultaneously do my best Goldie Hawn in "Bird on a Wire" impression while dune buggying through Jamaican farmland.

Thank you to Jet Blue, Thrillist, Starbucks, the Cold-Eeze guy, Mark from Iberostar, my bosses for sending me on this trip, my liver for withstanding it, the Crush on Obama Girl, Flavie (best Dir. of Communications for any company, ever), and a bunch of other new friends we made.

Can't wait for the reunion!

Another Good Band You Won't Find at CMJ

2009-10-22T13:32:00.001-04:00

Telepathe - So Fine from Paul Tao on Vimeo.

This Just In, From Savannah's Blog:

2009-10-21T11:34:00.000-04:00

I was having plenty of fun on #JetMystery, via NeverNotListo.

Berkshire Mountain Pup

2009-10-12T15:49:00.000-04:00

Lola the Mountain Pup from Elizabeth Brady on Vimeo.

We took Lola to her natural habitat this weekend, for some apple-picking and hiking. Needless to say, she was one happy dog.

October in PEN15 Book Club:

2009-10-07T23:14:00.000-04:00

Get on it! If you've ever read anything else by Diaz, you'll know he is a no-BS writer who can make things unbelievably raw and heartwrenching, but hilarious in the same breath. This novel won the Pulitzer Prize, and it takes place in my homestate of NJ. Done+done.

PEN15 will meet Nov. 4th to discuss.

Hopewell's "Island" Video

2009-10-05T13:37:00.005-04:00

The new video from Hopewell is fantastic -- it's a blend of Super 8 footage shot here in Brooklyn and vintage film from an array of war archives. The visuals complement the psychedelic anxiety of the song, and I've now added them to my mini list of must-sees at CMJ this year.

A Celebration of Tim Curry

2009-10-04T18:32:00.004-04:00

Tim Curry is a true enigma, but I think he has the potential to make a completely badass and/or absurd comeback. He should start starring in Quentin Tarantino films and walking around with hot topless beefcakes on leashes. He should have seasonal parties at outrageous nightclubs where he screens his worst movies, such as "Congo." He should get into physical fights with douchey people like Sharon Stone and start publicity stunt catfights with people like J. Lo. He is at the point of his careeer where he could do all this and more, and people would sit and smile and cheer him on, fondly saying things like, "Oh yea, Tim Curry! I forgot about that guy." and "Who knew Tim Curry was so awesome?"

T.C. is the best. Seriously, what is going on with this man? Is he straight or gay? When is his next movie coming out? And is he embarrassed about this?

Sam J. Miller’s 25-Word Movie Reviews

2009-10-03T20:50:00.002-04:00

The Rumpus has a new film review feature that's easy to appreciate: 25-Word Movie Reviews. Taking off on the Twitter-esque 140 character standard, these reviews sum it all up. They might not be relevant in a timely sense, but anyone that can tie together "Changeling" and "Dances With Wolves" in one post is enough to impress me. Here are some examples of telling it like it is:

Changeling (Clint Eastwood, 2008)
This horrible horrible movie’s plot: Angelina Jolie weeping/pleading/cowering/being tortured. Unwatchable. Offensive. Solely for those who get off on watching women suffer.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Gavin Hood, 2009)
I can do this one in three: weird and stupid. Also? They cut the hot gay trailer sex scene where Liev Schreiber tops Dominic Monaghan.

Dances with Wolves (Kevin Costner, 1990)
Four hour movies should be illegal. Mary McDonnell is my messiah now. Lovely scenery; solid music, competent-if-unremarkable directing. Also? White people are evil.

"Breakfast at Sulimay's" Is Still Glorious With New Episodes

2009-10-02T12:59:00.008-04:00

Last spring, Woodshop Films' "Breakfast at Sulimay's" series got some well-deserved attention for bringing the musical critiques of three senior citizens at a Philly breakfast shop to the mainstream. Few things could be better than irascible and detached old folks giving their two cents on hip hop and indie rock -- their musings on autotune/prostitutes/mashups/the downfall of pop culture can only be classified as awesome. Basically, they're just confused and disappointed, and it endlessly reminds me how sheer our generation is.

Much to my delight, I realized that new episodes of "Sulimay's" are still being made. Watch and learn how to be a septuagenarian with style:

Just as a bonus, here are two of my absolute favorite classic episodes:
Grizzly Bear and Iggy Pop --

(Note the Poisedon Adventure commentary)

Animal Collective and Young Jeezy:

Obese, Bacon Lovin' Skunk is Going on a Diet

2009-09-30T12:10:00.003-04:00

This story, via The Scotsman, embodies everything in this world that is important to me: An overweight skunk from the UK is being rehabilitated. And if you find yourself wondering "Why should we care?," consider:

A. His name is Mr. Bumble.

B. He was addicted to bacon sandwiches.

C. Look at the photo!!!

I Wonder What Alan Thicke Thinks About This

2009-09-24T10:08:00.001-04:00

And on another note:

(Guess it's a great week for those of us in the happy-to-mock-bible-thumpers demographic.)

Quasi-Tranny Dream Team

2009-09-14T20:37:00.008-04:00

If ever there were two personalities who could make my universe implode in a ball of glammy sheer pop music destruction, it would DEFINITELY be Azis and Lady Gaga.

I've been in love with Gaga for quite some time, well before she started prancing around in Kermit Outfits. And perhaps the only thing that could have made her performance at the VMAs last night any better would have been if she had brought the ultimate Bulgarian celeb with her as arm candy.

According to his Wikipedia entry, Azis is a Bulgarian pop singer/politician. And while his tunes might sound like "Borat" background music, I think the guy has potential. He looks like Guy Fieri's ice princess doppelganger, and he clearly isn't afraid to pose in the same clothes as Lady Gaga. I beseech them to record a duet as soon as possible and make my quasi-tranny dream team a reality.

Tonight: "Wildwood, NJ" at Union Pool

2009-09-08T16:03:00.003-04:00

From my latest post on FREEwilliamsburg:

Ruthless Films and Union Pool are screening "Wildwood, NJ" - a 1994 documentary and unintentional precursor to MTV's "True Life: I'm a Jersey Shore Girl" - at 9pm tonight. @UnionPool also announced that Maker's Mark will be providing cocktails.There's probably no better way to bid adieu to summer than by sipping whiskey and laughing at beach-folk's personal problems and social myopia, so post-Labor Day Tuesday is perfect timing to see the movie.

Mosey on over to my main post to see more details about the screening, and to watch an epic sampling of footage from the film.

This Sums Up How I Feel Most of the Time:

2009-09-02T16:09:00.001-04:00

(Thanks to Britt + Buzzfeed)

Come For the Tacos, Stay For the Sheerness

2009-09-02T11:56:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow I get to embody true sheerness as I dole out tacos on behalf of my team at Asylum.com and AOL.

The Taco Bell Truck will be on hand at my office (8th street between Broadway and Lafayette) to give out free lunch and basically just cause a scene. If you can make it happen, you should come and visit me!

My Utopia

2009-09-01T16:08:00.000-04:00

It's the Simple Things In Life...

2009-08-26T19:35:00.004-04:00

For instance, stumbling upon horrifying red carpet photos on Getty Images like this one. Lil' moments of zen in a world of chaos and disappointment.

Speaking of zen, who knew that JC Penny had an Asian Excellence Awards Show in 2008? And that all these dudes in the photo were actually there? Can I attend this year? I'd love to witness moments like this video of Rob Schneider winning the "Half Asian award."

TRASHY FRIDAY

2009-08-21T13:06:00.002-04:00

Honestly, I can't with this video. Kevin Conetta sent it to me, and I just can't. Start your weekend chock full o' garbage. And yes, you're welcome.

Donald Draper, Keep Your Dick Whitman in Your Pants

2009-08-17T13:54:00.002-04:00

I hung out in Times Square last night in 80 degree heat, and I loved it! That's because I went to the screening for Mad Men's Season 3 premiere.

Free crappy fedoras (tagged "The Draper") were given out as cute cigarette girls dispensed candies and other in-charcter '60s models lurked in the crowd. I could have used some scotch, especially during the costume contest, but no matter. The highlight of the evening had to be when Bryan Batt (who plays super-duper closet gay Salvatore Romano on the series) pranced on stage, blazing drunk and ultra flaming in real life, and proclaimed his love for his family - as well as his excitement for the new episode. He promised outrageousness, and it was delivered (bell hop boy-whores are to flight attendent floosies as ..... you fill in the blank).

So yea, we are happy that the best TV show ever is back on. Can't wait for next week! I'll be watching from the safety of my couch, AC blasting, and a glass of Cutty Sark in my hand.

Also thank you to my awesome boyfriend for the picture above.

Want It!

2009-08-13T11:04:00.001-04:00

Looks like the world's smallest horse, Thumbelina, has some severe competition. This guy takes cuteness to the second degree, because tiny lil' Koda is not only a miniature horse, but he's a DWARF. An article in Britain's Daily Mail notes that the extra-petite factor has given the poor thing some health problems, like buckled legs and dental issues. But according to his vet 'He's very brave and takes his medicine like a little man.'

The paper adds that "Koda is so small that he is often mistaken for a battery-operated soft toy." AWWWW! I want.

October in Hong Kong?

2009-08-10T12:00:00.002-04:00

I'm contemplating a journey to Asia this Fall, in order to begin fulfilling my goal of traveling to every continent by the time I'm 30. Apparently Autumn is the best time to visit Hong Kong, and it's supposed to be a relatively affordable place. Has anyone ever visited? Input would be much appreciated!

Twerk Dat Gun Fat

2009-08-08T11:12:00.004-04:00

When I saw this headline, I couldn't resist clicking: "Obese Texas Inmate Hides Gun in His Flabs of Fat." Turns out this industrious fiend decided to put his body to work to get what he needed done, know what I'm sayin'? TWERK IT BOY!!!!

Another reason the rest of the world looks down on the USA, especially Texas.

Internet - FB and Twitter = I Kinda Can't Do My Job

2009-08-06T13:38:00.006-04:00

As I'm sure many others have discovered this fine morning, Twitter AND Facebook are both being problematic. This translates to the apocalypse for nerds and social media peeps everywhere. Thank goodness for Urlesque, the site that taught me two things today while I loafed around impotently waiting for my job to be possible.

1. When Twitter is Down, CRY ABOUT IT!

2. There's a photo of Tila Tequila and an ape giving the finger. (I KNOW!!!)

And now, I'm calm again.

Jay Reatard - "It Ain't Gonna Save Me"

2009-08-06T09:52:00.002-04:00

Jay Reatard's new record comes out next week, and I think it's his best effort yet. Speaking of good things Mr. Reatard has been up to, there's this video (via Stereogum) for his new single, which is undeniably awesome.

Vive Le Timothy!!!

2009-08-03T18:35:00.001-04:00

Well, the trip to Montauk was canceled due to the rain, but at least we got our sail on Saturday afternoon. Britt was an amazing steerer, and I did a good job drinking the sangria.

Add sailing to the list of things I NEVER would have done if I hadn't met K Hay. Also he is the one that took the photo.

Take Me Back to Epernay...

2009-07-25T09:39:00.002-04:00

All I want today is to be in a cave surrounded by champagne.

The Phenomenal Handclap Band at Joe's Pub

2009-07-24T00:13:00.002-04:00

Claire and I had the lovely opportunity to check out the NPR showcase on Tuesday night on behalf of FREEwilliamsburg.

While we couldn't quite detach ourselves from the sexy tambourine-wielding girls in The Phenomenal Handclap Band (wonder if they ever fight about who has the chicest outfits?) the evening was an intimate and enjoyable affair.

You can see all the photos and read the whole review if you click here!

Done+Done

2009-07-22T22:18:00.003-04:00

After realizing that I'm not eligible to win Urlesque's Three Keyboard Cat Moon T-Shirt giveaway, I decided to make like @moneyries and order one for myself from Threadless. And pay, like the normal people do.

Except... normal people don't order/wear specialty items like this one. Anyone sporting the shirt pictured to the left should garner immediate respect and a small amount of fear. I can't wait to harness the power!

SHEER!

Where the Succulents At???

2009-07-21T11:18:00.003-04:00

So here I am, commencing my mini-garden a full two months after gardening season officially began. Yesterday I spent a charming evening at the Home Depot in Queens, a.k.a. bizarro So-Cal, and was welcomed home by my neighbor who warned me that "all plants purchased from Home Depot suck and will die." Jeez, ok! Thanks. I'm now focused on finding lots of succulents to add some heartiness to my plant family, should tragedy strike. Does anyone have suggestions on good gardening stores in the Williamsburg area?

The Lady Behind @Playboy

2009-07-17T17:47:00.000-04:00

All day long I tweet on behalf of @Asylumdotcom, and 90% of my followers think that I'm a bro. I often wonder about my Twitter friends, and if they're in the same boat.

Well, today I had the honor of learning more about the sweet darling behind @Playboy. Turns out, she's also a young lady workin' in a man's world (but having fun with it too, obvi!) You can read the full story here, at Asylum.com.

The Most Amazing Web Site on the Internet c/o Lemondrop

2009-07-16T21:21:00.001-04:00

OK, OK, OK!

If you are in a bad mood, or declaring bankruptcy, getting a divorce, suffering from food poisoning, or if you just failed out of the 10th grade - please check out this website. It truly lives up to its name!

Another reason to love Lemondrop.com. Where else would I discover such crucial items?

Jan Terri 4 Lyfe

2009-06-22T15:17:00.004-04:00

I've discovered my magical happy potion, and it comes in the form of a limousine-driving, off-key singing, vinegar faced nobody with a MEGA FUPA named Jan Terri. Apparently in the early '90s she wrote some tracks and created music video demos that she submitted to labels. Jan never achieved the kind of fame she wanted, but she's officially got a special place in my heart.

My boyfriend also pointed out that her stellar musical talents were actually a precursor to the Vivian Girls monotone crapolla sound. Except Jan could KILL them in a battle of the bands. I mean, come on. What could be better than "Baby Blues"????

Lady GaGa Should Maul Him

2009-06-04T10:25:00.001-04:00

I was immediately obsessed with Ms. GaGa when I stumbled upon her sheeritude last summer, but since then, we've dealt with 9 months of nonstop inundation. I didn't expect to feel any degree of protectiveness toward her Royal Pantsless/Tranny Highness, but that was before I was exposed to this heinous video.

Straight outta the GOP's treasure chest, this attempt at a parody is so lame that I'm almost questioning why I'm even embedding it here on my blog. I suppose it's so terrible that it transcends awfulness and achieves a bizarro greatness! The Ray Ban donning d-bag in the video is reaching out to the young Republican minions and attempting to show them everything that's wrong with having a Democrat in the White House. Sadly, his grainy weight-lifting shots, autotuned vocals, and the horrifying voice of the omniscient (and seemingly cannibalistic) *government* do nothing but make one realize how old and sad politicians really are.

This guy even manages to destroy the beauty of the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom. What a twat.

Twinjuries -- the Hazards of Twittering 24/7

2009-06-03T13:54:00.002-04:00

I've just posted an article over on Asylum.com about the tragically pathetic injuries and errors that occur when people stop paying attention and start Twittering. Here's an excerpt:

From carpal tunnel to Wiinjuries, technology constantly finds insidious ways to cause users physical harm. Just yesterday a British man made headlines for suffering "the first Twinjury" -- 23-year-old PR man James Coleman slammed into a tree branch while jogging to work. Too absorbed with his Blackberry to notice the approaching obstruction, he ended up dazed and bruised on the sidewalk. "One minute I was running along posting a tweet, the next I was lying on my back on the pavement in agony," he said.

Get the entire article and list of fools here!

The SHEERest Facebookers Of Them All

2009-05-29T11:08:00.001-04:00

Recently, a girl I knew a decade ago at summer camp added me on Facebook. I thought it was cute, until she got engaged. And then set a wedding date. And then bit by bit, day by motherfucking day, documented her happy HAPPY life via her Facebook status.

Ya know what honey? I don't care about your invitation fonts! Or your husband's funny wedding jokes! OR HOW MUCH YOU WISH YOUR DEAD GRANDMA COULD ATTEND THE WEDDING! just get married, please. and stop broadcasting everything about it.

So I wrote an article for Lemondrop.com, listing the ten absolute worst habits/types of Facebook friends. Read through it, and if anything applies to you, please make some changes to your page. You'll probably notice that people will start liking you more.

DiD US Presidential Election 2008　バラク・オバマ

2009-04-13T14:27:00.006-04:00

The election was a while back, but hell, I'm still pretty psyched on Obama too!

giant uterus cake

2009-03-14T12:13:00.000-04:00

That is all.

c/o debbiedoescakes, Flickr

Artistic Fusion and Optimism at Cameo Gallery

2009-02-20T22:59:00.000-05:00

Here's a blip from my latest article for The Greenpoint Gazette. You can read it in full here.

If New York’s art scene has been suffering amid recent economic gloom, it wasn’t evident on Thursday night at Cameo Gallery. The art space at 93 North 6th Street hosted a multi-faceted opening for their debut group show, with live music and bold art pieces that complement each other thoroughly.

Located in the rear space of The Lovin’ Cup Café, Cameo Gallery “seeks to articulate the intersection of art, music, food and company by bringing together a multitude of people and genres into one space.” The “white cube” storefront feel of most galleries is absent at Cameo, and has been replaced by black walls and the vibe of an intimate and hidden venue.

The layout compliments the artwork on display for the group exhibit, many of which incorporate bright colors and abstract shapes, or blazing black-and-white imagery.

Painter Carrie Elston’s neon sensibilities are palpable against the black walls of the space. The gallery asserts her craft as “pieces creating a three-dimensional psychological world that sits brashly on top of the smooth surface.” Elston said, adding that “the black walls are perfect for vibrant colors.”

December Playlist for FREEwillyb

2008-12-01T19:43:00.002-05:00

You can read the full inventory of the mix right over here at my better half. Honestly though, are we human or are we dancer? WHY ARE THE KILLERS SO CATCHY!!!??!!?! I feel victimized.

Radiohead = Still Weirdos

2008-11-27T11:37:00.000-05:00

Here's a video for "Weird Fishes." This band is still as freaky as ever.

Radiohead Weird Fishes by Tobias Stretch from Tobias Stretch on Vimeo.

Be Like Lil' Wayne

2008-11-25T00:01:00.005-05:00

SO MUCH FUN!!! hahahah SO SHEER!

read more on my freewilliamsburg.com post!

Ummmmm

2008-11-20T14:11:00.002-05:00

American Buffalo on Broadway --->

AGHHHHHH!

Wistful Memories of Amish in the City

2008-11-14T14:22:00.001-05:00

Maybe the rest of you are totally over it, but I still have yearnings for "Amish in the City" - a.k.a. the best show that was ever broadcasted in this fine nation. Those were certainly different times, when "Amish in the City" flourished on national television - The Lord of The Rings was STILL a big effin' deal for some reason, I lived on Mulberry Street, John Kerry was running for President, and the Arcade Fire/Pixies were the only bands I ever wanted to listen to.

I found a website that gives cast updates, but I'm still not satisfied. I demand that a new season commence soon.

Missin' the Past- c/o HipsterRunnoff.com

2008-11-11T16:23:00.000-05:00

So yes, yes FINALLY we have the future in our little paws and we can look forward to something other then imminent doom and destruction. I actually voted for the winner. It's a good time to be alive.

Still,

Hipster Runoff hit the nail on the head with this article. My favorite parts are the reflections on Korn and Limp Bizkit. It got me thinking about other awful things from 10 years ago - like Duncan Sheik, that annoying Six Pence None the Richer, as well as Freddie Prinze Jr., 92.3 KROCK, Green Day and/or Garbage. Everlast.

YUCK CITY!

Did they all get sucked into some weird zeitgeist-y vaccuum? How is it possible that none of these people have worked or performed in a decade, when a good portion of my adolescence was spent with bleeding ears and eyes from pure inundation? No puedo. I don't get it!

Nostalgia never goes out of style, ever ever. Especially nostalgia for sheer trash!

another thing i want

2008-11-10T14:14:00.003-05:00

Something is equally vile and awesome about this retainer necklace, and I kinda really want one.

Debbie and I saw it at The Future Perfect on North 6th. Going to that store is sort of comparable to when guys go to strip clubs - you see something you desperately want, but it costs more money than it's probably worth, and anyway if you touch it someone will just pop out of nowhere and kick your ass. You just leave with a semi and no gratification.

Or maybe it's more like a museum. Expensive Lladro statuettes and pillows that cost $400, and if you happen to slip and fall, then you will most certainly break something, and then you're fucked.

Debbie why did we go in there! *SIGH*