Jan Terri 4 Lyfe

I've discovered my magical happy potion, and it comes in the form of a limousine-driving, off-key singing, vinegar faced nobody with a MEGA FUPA named Jan Terri. Apparently in the early '90s she wrote some tracks and created music video demos that she submitted to labels. Jan never achieved the kind of fame she wanted, but she's officially got a special place in my heart.

My boyfriend also pointed out that her stellar musical talents were actually a precursor to the Vivian Girls monotone crapolla sound. Except Jan could KILL them in a battle of the bands. I mean, come on. What could be better than "Baby Blues"????

Lady GaGa Should Maul Him

I was immediately obsessed with Ms. GaGa when I stumbled upon her sheeritude last summer, but since then, we've dealt with 9 months of nonstop inundation. I didn't expect to feel any degree of protectiveness toward her Royal Pantsless/Tranny Highness, but that was before I was exposed to this heinous video.

Straight outta the GOP's treasure chest, this attempt at a parody is so lame that I'm almost questioning why I'm even embedding it here on my blog. I suppose it's so terrible that it transcends awfulness and achieves a bizarro greatness! The Ray Ban donning d-bag in the video is reaching out to the young Republican minions and attempting to show them everything that's wrong with having a Democrat in the White House. Sadly, his grainy weight-lifting shots, autotuned vocals, and the horrifying voice of the omniscient (and seemingly cannibalistic) *government* do nothing but make one realize how old and sad politicians really are.

This guy even manages to destroy the beauty of the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom. What a twat.

Twinjuries -- the Hazards of Twittering 24/7

I've just posted an article over on Asylum.com about the tragically pathetic injuries and errors that occur when people stop paying attention and start Twittering. Here's an excerpt:

From carpal tunnel to Wiinjuries, technology constantly finds insidious ways to cause users physical harm. Just yesterday a British man made headlines for suffering "the first Twinjury" -- 23-year-old PR man James Coleman slammed into a tree branch while jogging to work. Too absorbed with his Blackberry to notice the approaching obstruction, he ended up dazed and bruised on the sidewalk. "One minute I was running along posting a tweet, the next I was lying on my back on the pavement in agony," he said.

Get the entire article and list of fools here!