Best. Concert. Ever.

(Prince at Madison Square Garden, December 18, 2010)

Berlin

I just got back from visiting my lovely friend Ashley and some of her awesome crew in Berlin. What a terrific week, and a fabulous way to spend Thanksgiving -- in a big German apartment in Neukölln, filled with about 40 people from all around the world (and plenty of Brooklyn expats!). Other highlights of the journey included a 24-hour stint in Prague, "blind dining" at unsicht-Bar, wandering through the beautiful Christmas markets, and meeting my all-time favorite animal celeb, Knut the polar bear (he is addicted to fame and will swim up to you if you call his name or wave to him!!! Ahhh!!).

It was quite an inspirational trip and couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I enjoyed Germany quite a bit, and hope to return soon -- and ideally in the summer, next time.

I ♥ the New Tame Impala Video

Things I Learned From My 18-Hour Flight From South Africa

One of the boldest parts of my recent trip to South Africa was the flying itself. For someone who hates being on a plane, this was a real challenge for me. 100% in coach, 100% cut off from the world, 100% exhausting -- it made quite the impression on me. Here are some of the things I'm taking away from the experience.

1. Always order the vegetarian meal. Your food will come out separately (likely before everyone else's), and it's usually pasta or a safer bet than the main meal choices. On our flight to South Africa, we ate baked ziti, while the rest of the flight was stuck with the choice between fish and chips or some derivative beef option.

2. You'll get sprayed. That's right! On the return flight to NYC, South African Airways makes a stop (9 hours into the flight) in Dakar. The lights get turned on, your Ambien wears off a bit, and people come on board to search bags. The crew gets switched for the final leg across the Atlantic, and then ... flight attendants spray disinfectant throughout the air. The stuff is pungent, be prepared to cover your face with a blanket or sweater.

3. You'll feel kinda crazy. Indeed, waking up and drifting off, drinking wine and drifting off, walking to the bathroom 7 times on one flight... it becomes something of a dream state that starts to make very little sense after the first 10 hours. Do. Not. Panic!

4. You'll watch movies that you don't want to admit to. Being stuck in that seat will SEVERELY lower your entertainment standards. I'm talking "Prince of Persia." I'm talking "The A-Team." I'm not revealing anything else.

5. Pills. Don't forget the pills!

6. You will be able to say that you were on one of the longest nonstop flights in the world. And all you got was this lousy leg cramp.

7. It can be kinda dark. The flight back from Johannesburg to JFK departs Jo'Berg at nightfall, and follows the timezones throughout the night. That means you only see the blue skies again right before you land in NYC... it might not sound too crucial, but being in a vacuum of darkness for 18 hours makes the situation all the more surreal.

8. No flight will ever seem long again. Hopping on a plane to Europe will feel like a day at the spa compared to this intense haul.

Ahhhhh.

Watch Caetano Veloso / Cucurrucucu Paloma in World | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

I Beweave!

Laura Bell Bundy is a country singer/Broadway actress who has a surprisingly awesome talent for making viral videos as well. Right now, I'm currently obsessed with her Shocantelle Brown character, especially because I'd never expect the chick who played Elle Woods in the Broadway adaptation of "Legally Blonde" to be genuinely hilarious.

I haven't been this addicted to a YouTube character skit since John "My Son is Gay?" Roberts hit the scene. Cooter County is gonna blow up!

The Sheerest Lil' Pets Around

I recently got to write a story for Paw Nation about pets who inherit ridiculous sums of money from their horrible/rich/quirky owners.

Leona Helmsley, Gail Posner and Oprah Winfrey -- oh, my!

Read it here.

I Might Need to Buy this One from Ye Olde Record Shoppe

When the new Klaxons LP comes out late this summer, I think I'll be buying a hard copy of it. The artwork speaks for its-radical-self.

(I also posted about this on FREEwilliamsburg).

Pre-Season Escape to Montauk

Montauk is so beautiful at this time of the year ... right on the precipice of the summer season, the crowds, the aviator glasses and gossip on the beaches about the "Real Housewives" have yet to arrive.

We spent this past weekend enjoying pre-season rates at Hartman's Briney Breezes, with plenty of fresh air, wine, and World Cup games.

A Weekend in Charleston

Memorial Day Weekend was spent in Charleston this year, where I recieved some serious Southern Hospitality from my dear friend Savannah. I'd always heard fantastic things about the town, and most of them were accurate: Charleston's "cute" appeal is through the roof. While we were there, our itinerary ranged from the classic (lounging on the beach on Sullivan's Island), to the classy (a boat ride around the city + battery) to the trashy (a visit to the grave of Melanie Thornton, a.k.a. La Bouche).

Aside from a night spent battling the Formosan Termites, who swarmed in the hundreds of thousands for breeding, it was an incredibly relaxing weekend. I now understand why plenty of my friends have evacuated the northeast to call Charleston home. An autumn trip might be in order -- especially with such a short flight from NYC.

Partying With the Real Housewives

On Monday night, my best friend and I had the pleasure of partying with the Real Housewives of New Jersey (as well as some other Bravo personalities). In our lifelong quest of pursuing sheer trash, this was a milestone.

Check out more photographic evidence in my Facebook album, and full coverage of the premiere party at The Brownstone via my post for PopEater.com.

I Can't.

Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger Doritos... oh yes they did! For the true Frito-Lay connoisseur who craves Swiss n' beef flavor in their bag of pre-dawn, blackout shame.

As a recently born-again vegetarian AND a Doritos lover, this will present all sorts of new obstacles for me during late night/inebriated runs to the bodega.

Quote of the Day

“At night I have possums, skunks, lots of raccoons. They come right in the house, through the cat door, and they bring their babies in. I get up at night and they’re in the kitchen, eating all the cat food.” (http://kl.am/b0Ap)

He will never stop impressing me.

#thingsiwant

Colombia

I've just returned from 6 days in Colombia, and it was without a doubt my favorite trip I've taken in the past year. It was my first time in South America, and a quick 5 hour flight whisked me to one of the most beautiful countries I've seen yet. The Andes flanking Bogota, the bougainvillea tumbling from the quaint buildings in Cartagena, the sounds and colors of the streets and the churning, changing weather patterns kept our senses super busy.

While there are stark contrasts between the rich and poor, most of the people we encountered were kind, helpful and happy. And contrary to its reputation as a scary place (chock full 'o kidnappers, violence, drug hawkers and "Colombian Devil's Breath"), I've seen more violence on a weekend trip to Boston -- and been offered drugs much more freely in places like Jamaica and Mexico than I was in Colombia.

Bogota and Cartagena were incredible, but I wish I had more time to explore the rest of Colombia. I'm convinced that it will become the next "hot spot" for backpackers and upscale vacationers alike quite soon, and I can't wait to go back someday.

Heeeeeey Dude!

Wasn't "Hey Dude" the best? It was kind of esoteric and weird compared to some other kids' shows of that era (1990/91). They were just stuck at this boring ranch in the desert -- no school dances or beach montages for this crew. Just awkwardness and thinly veiled bigotry. Once "Pete and Pete" came around, it was totally overshadowed ... but with a theme song like this, my love will never be extinguished.

Sheer nostalgia!

Global Air Traffic Time Lapse

Those who know me are well-aware of my sheer fear of flying. It never stops me from traveling -- however, it also never stops me from having plenty of cocktails before takeoff. But this video, which illustrates global air traffic over a one-day span, really puts things into perspective.

When you're in the air, you definitely aren't alone up there.

Via The Huffington Post.

Quote of the Day

"Instead, she did what she always does: schlepped her two kids around Orlando, all elfin and inscrutable behind her reflective sunglasses, giving not the slightest indication of what on earth she could possibly be thinking." (http://kl.am/a7x8)

The Daily Beast whipped up an interesting commentary on Elin Nordegren's apparent non-action amid months+months of scandal. Ultimately, it's nobody's bid'ness what she does ... but I can't help but wonder why she chooses to not make a more clear-cut impression of herself as either a strong woman who is done+done, or a strong woman who is standing by her man and going the route of forgiveness. What's up with all the gas pumping and the lack of a solid public stance?

Can't Wait for "Sunset Daze"

There's no way that "Sunset Daze" won't be my favorite show of the upcoming season. When my boyfriend tipped me off that a friend of his was looking to produce a "Real Golden Girls" reality show, I thought it was too fucking amazing to not happen -- and it looks like someone managed to land such a series on WeTV.

That's right -- the show will premiere on April 28th, featuring a cast of wacked-out seniors living it up to the fullest at an outrageous retirement home in Arizona. According to their bio pages, there's a matchmaker, a "wild child" and even an ex-nun. But I can immediately sense that Gail will be my idol (a wrinkled ball of sass with a scary wig).

According to the LA Times, we can expect "Steamy scenes in Jacuzzis, a wild night out at a gay rodeo, happy-hour makeout sessions, and conversations about sex toys."

Quote of the Day

"The latest season of MTV's long-running program ended last night like a geriatric poodle falling down a flight of stairs. The show and the audience have changed drastically since it started. It is time to put the old girl down." http://kl.am/9SBW

It's true. "The Real World" is bottom-of-the-barrel trash. Somebody needs to Kevorkian that shit ASAP.

#babyscarface FTW

What kind of elementary school hosts a play of "Scarface"? And how can I enroll my future children?

3/30/10 - UPDATE: It's fake. According to TMZ.

Winter Wonderland

Whiteface Mountain -- Lake Placid, NY -- 2/28/10

Somebody Cloned My Dog...

And sent her back in time, to a place where she was roughly 9 weeks old and the CUTEST THING ON THE PLANET. Friends, do you not agree that this is totes Lola circa December 2003???

Here's a Sheer One For My Scrapbook

Or even better, for my blog dedicated to sheer trash!

(Spending a weekend in Miami with your gay husbands = delightful)