Things I Learned From My 18-Hour Flight From South Africa

One of the boldest parts of my recent trip to South Africa was the flying itself. For someone who hates being on a plane, this was a real challenge for me. 100% in coach, 100% cut off from the world, 100% exhausting -- it made quite the impression on me. Here are some of the things I'm taking away from the experience.

1. Always order the vegetarian meal. Your food will come out separately (likely before everyone else's), and it's usually pasta or a safer bet than the main meal choices. On our flight to South Africa, we ate baked ziti, while the rest of the flight was stuck with the choice between fish and chips or some derivative beef option.

2. You'll get sprayed. That's right! On the return flight to NYC, South African Airways makes a stop (9 hours into the flight) in Dakar. The lights get turned on, your Ambien wears off a bit, and people come on board to search bags. The crew gets switched for the final leg across the Atlantic, and then ... flight attendants spray disinfectant throughout the air. The stuff is pungent, be prepared to cover your face with a blanket or sweater.

3. You'll feel kinda crazy. Indeed, waking up and drifting off, drinking wine and drifting off, walking to the bathroom 7 times on one flight... it becomes something of a dream state that starts to make very little sense after the first 10 hours. Do. Not. Panic!

4. You'll watch movies that you don't want to admit to. Being stuck in that seat will SEVERELY lower your entertainment standards. I'm talking "Prince of Persia." I'm talking "The A-Team." I'm not revealing anything else.

5. Pills. Don't forget the pills!

6. You will be able to say that you were on one of the longest nonstop flights in the world. And all you got was this lousy leg cramp.

7. It can be kinda dark. The flight back from Johannesburg to JFK departs Jo'Berg at nightfall, and follows the timezones throughout the night. That means you only see the blue skies again right before you land in NYC... it might not sound too crucial, but being in a vacuum of darkness for 18 hours makes the situation all the more surreal.

8. No flight will ever seem long again. Hopping on a plane to Europe will feel like a day at the spa compared to this intense haul.

Ahhhhh.

Watch Caetano Veloso / Cucurrucucu Paloma in World | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

I Beweave!

Laura Bell Bundy is a country singer/Broadway actress who has a surprisingly awesome talent for making viral videos as well. Right now, I'm currently obsessed with her Shocantelle Brown character, especially because I'd never expect the chick who played Elle Woods in the Broadway adaptation of "Legally Blonde" to be genuinely hilarious.

I haven't been this addicted to a YouTube character skit since John "My Son is Gay?" Roberts hit the scene. Cooter County is gonna blow up!

The Sheerest Lil' Pets Around

I recently got to write a story for Paw Nation about pets who inherit ridiculous sums of money from their horrible/rich/quirky owners.

Leona Helmsley, Gail Posner and Oprah Winfrey -- oh, my!

Read it here.

I Might Need to Buy this One from Ye Olde Record Shoppe

When the new Klaxons LP comes out late this summer, I think I'll be buying a hard copy of it. The artwork speaks for its-radical-self.

(I also posted about this on FREEwilliamsburg).

Pre-Season Escape to Montauk

Montauk is so beautiful at this time of the year ... right on the precipice of the summer season, the crowds, the aviator glasses and gossip on the beaches about the "Real Housewives" have yet to arrive.

We spent this past weekend enjoying pre-season rates at Hartman's Briney Breezes, with plenty of fresh air, wine, and World Cup games.

A Weekend in Charleston

Memorial Day Weekend was spent in Charleston this year, where I recieved some serious Southern Hospitality from my dear friend Savannah. I'd always heard fantastic things about the town, and most of them were accurate: Charleston's "cute" appeal is through the roof. While we were there, our itinerary ranged from the classic (lounging on the beach on Sullivan's Island), to the classy (a boat ride around the city + battery) to the trashy (a visit to the grave of Melanie Thornton, a.k.a. La Bouche).

Aside from a night spent battling the Formosan Termites, who swarmed in the hundreds of thousands for breeding, it was an incredibly relaxing weekend. I now understand why plenty of my friends have evacuated the northeast to call Charleston home. An autumn trip might be in order -- especially with such a short flight from NYC.