December Playlist for FREEwillyb

You can read the full inventory of the mix right over here at my better half. Honestly though, are we human or are we dancer? WHY ARE THE KILLERS SO CATCHY!!!??!!?! I feel victimized.

Radiohead = Still Weirdos

Here's a video for "Weird Fishes." This band is still as freaky as ever.


Radiohead Weird Fishes by Tobias Stretch from Tobias Stretch on Vimeo.

Be Like Lil' Wayne

SO MUCH FUN!!! hahahah SO SHEER!

read more on my freewilliamsburg.com post!

Ummmmm

American Buffalo on Broadway --->

AGHHHHHH!

Wistful Memories of Amish in the City

Maybe the rest of you are totally over it, but I still have yearnings for "Amish in the City" - a.k.a. the best show that was ever broadcasted in this fine nation. Those were certainly different times, when "Amish in the City" flourished on national television - The Lord of The Rings was STILL a big effin' deal for some reason, I lived on Mulberry Street, John Kerry was running for President, and the Arcade Fire/Pixies were the only bands I ever wanted to listen to.

I found a website that gives cast updates, but I'm still not satisfied. I demand that a new season commence soon. 

Missin' the Past- c/o HipsterRunnoff.com

So yes, yes FINALLY we have the future in our little paws and we can look forward to something other then imminent doom and destruction. I actually voted for the winner. It's a good time to be alive.

Still, 

Hipster Runoff hit the nail on the head with this article. My favorite parts are the reflections on Korn and Limp Bizkit. It got me thinking about other awful things from 10 years ago - like Duncan Sheik, that annoying Six Pence None the Richer, as well as Freddie Prinze Jr., 92.3 KROCK, Green Day and/or Garbage. Everlast. 

YUCK CITY!

Did they all get sucked into some weird zeitgeist-y vaccuum? How is it possible that none of these people have worked or performed in a decade, when a good portion of my adolescence was spent with bleeding ears and eyes from pure inundation? No puedo. I don't get it!

Nostalgia never goes out of style, ever ever. Especially nostalgia for sheer trash!

another thing i want

Something is equally vile and awesome about this retainer necklace, and I kinda really want one. 

Debbie and I saw it at The Future Perfect on North 6th. Going to that store is sort of comparable to when guys go to strip clubs - you see something you desperately want, but it costs more money than it's probably worth, and anyway if you touch it someone will just pop out of nowhere and kick your ass. You just leave with a semi and no gratification. 

Or maybe it's more like a museum. Expensive Lladro statuettes and pillows that cost $400, and if you happen to slip and fall, then you will most certainly break something, and then you're fucked.

Debbie why did we go in there! *SIGH*

November Has Come.... And So Has My Playlist!

<----- Check out FREEwilliamsburg.com

(I picked some goodies!)

HALLOWEEEEEEEN happened.

HALLOWEEN-

 

Enough, Already!

I hate to sound like a big wimp, but people in my neighborhood could really use a boost of good-naturedness. There's plenty of nice people in the world, but this week alone, within a 2 block radius of my apt:

-I fell, smacked my head on the sidewalk, and then had someone steal my iPhone (which had fallen out of my coat pocket). Now I have big, puss-filled gashes on my cheekbone and knees, and someone else has my phone with all of my emails and personal info. Hope you enjoy it ASSHOLE. I can't even imagine feeling like it's OK to take something like that and not want to return it to the proper owner. BLAHGH.

-In a way waaaaay more upsetting instance, my friend Savannah was MUGGED on Halloween night - in a taxi! A bleeding stab victim forced his way into the car she was in, and when she tried to get out, his attackers hit her several times (including on the head and face), and stole her wallet.

Again, I don't get it.

WHY ARE PEOPLE SUCH JERKS!!!!

ONE WEEK LEFT!

Election Day is only a week away, so get ready for the house party at my apt on November 4th.... and play this song on loop for the next 7 days!!!

(thanks to my dearest Debbie for pointing this gem out to me!)

D + D.

Done + Done.

CMJ 2008.

Not my favorite.

Not my immune system's favorite.

I complained on FREEwilliamsburg also.

Arts and Craps

This was on Gawker today.  

------->

It's Pharell's "Sex Chair."

------->

I really am getting stupider every second, thanks in no part to retarded stuff like this flooding my brain.

------>

<----------       But this article makes me feel a bit better.

<----------                             That's an amazing sculpture.  

ARTz 'n' CRAP

Woody Allen/Sarah Palin Mashup

This is sort of not okay, but I had to share.
From RadarOnline.com:



Sarah Palin Meets Woody Allen from RADAR on Vimeo.

ShhhYEEAH!

THIS IS WHERE I WILL BE ON SUNDAY NIGHT. IF YOU ARE TRYING TO LOCATE ME, I WILL BE THE REALLY LOUD, DRUNK CHICK WHO IS BUMMING YOUR CIGARETTES AND DOING THE JERSEY SIDESTEP ONTO KENT AVE.

YAY :)

i would go berserk

if I were this POOR WOMAN. Her husband clandestinely changed their newborn baby's name to "Sarah McCain Palin," without telling her.

From the Times News of Tennessee:

"While that’s the name father Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton put on documents for his baby girl’s birth certificate, it isn’t the name he and his wife originally agreed on. And it isn’t the name his wife, Layla, thought the baby was given.

“We actually came up with the name Ava Grace, and I secretively went and got another set of forms to send to (Social Security officials and the Tennessee Department of Health), and as of this time, she (Layla) still doesn’t realize what I’ve done. I haven’t broken the news to her yet,” Ciptak said.

“As of right now, I’m just trying to get up enough nerve to tell her what I’ve done and hope for the best. I hope I’m still living to tell the tale tomorrow. She thought it was a done deal with Ava Grace."

May I also add that the Times News is my new favorite resource for journalistic integrity and relevance. Check out the latest headline on their home page:

CMJ recommendations are up!!!!

CMJ kicks off next week, and if I don't collapse in a heap of exhaustion on some sheer LES side street, it will be a ton of fun. If the screenshots above aren't floating your boat, then go ahead and CLICK HERE for part one (tuesday, wednesday, thursday) or HERE for part two (friday + saturday.)

And remember to check out freewilliamsburg.com for my regular coverage of CMJ shows and whatnot next week, with plenty of photos and good stuffz.

OMFG vote obama

Now that a few of the Gossip Girl stars (with some other nobodies) are bashing McCain in this totes satirical ad, we know who the chicest candidate is.....


EVERY PARENT'S WORST NIGHTMARE:

WOMAN WOMA - WOma- WoMAnIzEr

Britney's new song is stupendous, and the video makes it 10 times better. It premiered on 20/20 over the weekend (of all places!) and it's basically a hybrid of her video for "Toxic," mixed with her commercials for that trashy Curious perfume, with some concepts from her other videos of yesteryear. Also there is a 4/20 reference for no apparent reason. LUVS her.

But hey, she is looking better, and I think everyone is excited about it. At least me and my gays and mah girlzzz are excited! 

Can't wait for "Circus" to be released in December wooooooooooh!

Nicely Done, E! News

I took this picture with my phone, from a still frame of Sunday's E! News broadcast, which was sheer disrespectful trash. Debbie and I were literally in tears because we were laughing so hard at the video editing of DJ AM spinning at his turntables, superimposed over a background showing the fiery wreckage of his plane crash. 

OMFG, dance partyyyyyyy! Yahhh!

Poor lil' guy.

MAZEL, MAZEL

M.I.A. is officially the baddest bitch in the world. We don't even need to get into her artistic prowess or qualifications, because everyone knows she's extraordinary. Matter of fact, she is the only celebrity (besides David Bowie) that I have ever spotted in public and been genuinely star-struck by, and she still never fails to amaze me. My semi shall not fade....

Case in point: last night. She hopped on stage at the Diesel XXX party, pregnant as-all-hell, rocking out at 1 am when I could barely muster the energy to stand up straight. I was forced to acknowledge once again that M.I.A. is indeed the coolest female ever, and now she will give birth to the coolest baby ever that will hopefully beat up Ben Affleck's troll-child, because that is ONE FUGLY DUCKLING. 

Thanks to my friend Marklesparkle for the photo, you can check out more at FreeWilliamsburg.com, the best website around!

you're not good.

I waste a TON of my time watching bad TV, or reading trash magazines, or listening to cheesy pop music on my iPod while aimlessly wandering. I admit it. I don't need to be doing scholarly/worthwhile stuff all of the time, or most of the time. I enjoy sheer trash! 

But this Zooey Deschanel person needs to stop, because she is NOT ok and I'm tired of people not questioning her shittiness and lack of talent. The only reason that she ever gets any positive press is because nerdy editorial guys who have placed this archetypical status on her, as this quiet, non-threatening, artsy-type gal who miiiight give them a chance, in their dreams, find her somehow acceptable or even likeable. So painful. In articles about her singing abilities or film roles, someone always has to toss in that "Zooey Deschanel is like this girl I used to have a crush on in high school, but better!" line. Calling her sheer trash would be elevating her to a platform she doesn't deserve whatsoever, she is just annoying as fuck and needs to either learn how to sing or act or at least go away. 

Watching her in The Happening was like watching a pile of bricks doing a monologue. She made Mark Wahlberg look like Anthony Hopkins. Listening to that horrendous She + Him album is like listening to Kermit the Frog shitting all over M. Ward's (once viable, now destroyed) talent. 

She needs to go away. I'll freak out if any more of my time is wasted on her. No puedo.

She's Officially SHEER TRASH:

c/o BUST Magazine - CLICK HERE for their thoughts on the matter.

EEeeEwwWWWwWW

OK, so I do apologize for my drastic increase of late with the video posts, but I HAD to vent about this piece of crap:



There's really nothing to say about it, other then it sucks. C'mon Jack White. Just.... stop.

you are never allowed to be sad again.

Because honestly, that video is the most fucking heartwarming thing EVER.

(explanation: today my new obsession has been BBCs "Planet Earth," which I am netflixing and am 100% enamored with. I've only watched two episodes, but the goddam bears and bear cubs from all over the world just keep getting cuter and cuter. The weird artificial Andean flute music/keyboard loop in the background are thank GOD not in the actual episodes, but unfortunately that was the only YouTube shite I could find for this one).

Principal's Office

Did you know that teachers can still smack kids in certain states? I certainly didn't think corporal punishment still existed in this country, but sigh, such is the whimsical lesson that reality TV can teach us.

"Principal's Office" is a new show on TruTV that has been stirring up almost zero attention, save for the fact that the Booneville, Arkansas segments feature a paddle-happy, "live-by-the-law" principal who's chock full 'o one-liners and a desire to distribute "licks" to all of his disorderly students.

I was able to find a poor quality video of Principal Halter negotiating a beating with Shorty, who may just be the most stereotypical Southerner to ever grace a reality show:

Camille Hempel, I <3 You!

About a month ago, I damaged my silver-knuckle ring during a night of intense dancing in my living room with my gays. After stopping by Catbird, where I bought it, they suggested that I talk to Camille Hempel at her boutique on S. 2nd. She's the one who designs the couch necklace (above), which I'm sure you've seen around.

When I brought her the bent ring, Camille fixed it..... buffed it and made it look purdy, she did it all in less then 5 minutes, AND refused to charge me or accept a tip. It was so nice of her, I was super impressed by her kindness as well as her ridiculously stylish and unique pieces that she designs. When I win the lottery/when our economy stops collapsing, I plan on splurging on some of Camille's bling, especially the rose gold pieces - DANG!!!

Check her out... Stop by and say hello for me, or visit her site:

http://www.camillehempel.com/

gawd!

I can't escape feeling like Alice Hyatt this week. People are d-bags.

SPAIN = AMAZING

I'm back from espana, and for those of you who didn't get my postcards, I have to say it was a glorious trip. If the picture doesn't sum it up clearly enough, then check out what I learned:


-Mullets AND rattails are super trendy there, and certainly considered chic/normal. And I'm talking severe mullets/rattails.

-It's virtually impossible to find a salad there.

-It's virtually impossible to travel there and not drink, smoke, and eat until your innards start rotting.

-Atocha train station is retarded.

Hasta luego!

My traveling schedule has become absolutely spoiled/pretentious, but off I go again!

This time I am visiting the lovely and intelligent and glorious Liz, who has a place smack dab in the middle of Madrid. We will go to bullfights and watch animals get mauled to death. We will take a trip to Toledo and buy gold. We will drink SOOO much wine and eat meat and cheese. I will wander the city in the hot September sun and sweat and try not to get pick-pocketed. And I will see the Prado, the palace, the gardens, and all the other spectacular sights.

I will miss you!

XXOO

Elizabeth :)

oh wow

lucky dragons:

obsessed.

i want this band to play at my wedding, whenever and wherever that shall occur.

Fashion Rocks?

Fashion Week has kicked off here in NYC, and as little as I care, I still couldn't help but peruse the pictures on Yahoo! of the Fashion Rocks event. What I discovered is that this concert should be re-named Hookerfest 9000, since it seems like it was sheer and unadulterated sex-worker trash. 

Dennis Leary in a dress? The Pussycat dolls doing an insane vagina dance? Miley Cyrus?? I see very little here "rocking." It was good when they had David Bowie and the Arcade Fire and people like that involved, but wtf is THIS.

image from the bowels of hell of the week

There are no words.

LADY GAGA where have you been all summer!??!

This Lady GaGa person truly makes my day. She is like a tranny Gwen Stefani euro sheerling. I almost can't grasp this creature, or whether or not it is actually a male or female. Oh well, who even cares! Definitely going to down a full bottle of wine and blast this song while cleaning the apartment this weekend.....

outsourcing

Hi pups -

Soon enough I will be regularly contributing to freewilliamsburg.com, which means that I may be spending slightly less time updating over here. Make sure to check out my new stuff regularly, it should be a bunch of music coverage and other relevant info about what is going on in the 'hood and also plenty of absurd internet discoveries.

X to the O

try not to be J!

But off I go to North Carolina, to bask in the sun, sand. I may also watch an assortment of ridiculous DVDs, including E.T., Fear, Serial Mom, and/or Britt's box-set of The Critic. 

But mostly I will be in sun :)

Weekend at Bernie's-esque sheerness

MAN KEPT UPRIGHT AT HIS WAKE. 

For fuck's sake!

I don't know about you, but when I pass away, the last thing I would possibly want is my corpse to be sitting in a chair, overlooking my coffin, wearing sunglasses. Some people are just off. Just sooooo wrong. He looks like a freakish wax museum display.

Million Dollar Sheerlings

Why does Bravo always have the best reality shows? It's getting ridiculous, I have to divide my time between Project Runway, Flipping Out, Shear Genius (a fave of sheerblog's for obvious reasons!), and now Million Dollar Listing.

The show revolves around three arrogant and plastic young lads based out of LA, who spend their days selling expensive homes and worrying about their appearances. They were clearly all beaten by their fathers AND bullied through school, and have now developed penchants for replacing their feeble personalities and withered souls with capitalism.

My favorite real estate man-boy has to be Josh Flagg, the 21 year old (no, not the mop-topped 30 year old who LOOKS 21, that's Chad!) drunken/stoned megalomaniac guy who enjoys selling his friends' houses after they die AND negotiating deals with his insanely nefarious looking cosmetic dentist. Josh Flagg also has a few other things going for him:

-his grandmother invented polyester or something, and she seems cooler then him

-he might be 36% gay, which is always a bonus

-he isn't Chad. 

Read more about Josh here.

And watch the show tonight, please? I couldn't bear to see this one cancelled. Not after the devastation of Sam Sparro canceling his concert. STILL not ok with that.

RED ALERT, big, gay, RED ALERT of DEVASTATION

SAM SPARRO CANCELLED HIS SEPTEMBER SHOW AT MUSIC HALL OF WILLIAMSBURG. 

Once again, another reason to lose faith in the government. Sheesh!

www.musichallofwilliamsburg.com/calendar/show/1897/

This is not OK. I've been looking forward to September 17th for so long. How could he do this to me!?!??! Visa problems? WTF. Does anyone know anything about this, and/or when he might be rescheduling?

The Mighty Boosh.

My friend John clued me into this several days ago. Fucking hilarious!

TERRIFYING!

Whilst lunching in a DUMBO pizza joint today, I had the horrendous experience of witnessing the Steve Wilkos Show. That's right. Steve Wilkos - ya know, the quiet bodyguard guy from the Jerry Springer Show. The security guy who would block angry spouses from punching eachother and would try and prevent midgets from exposing their nether-regions. 

He has his own show now, and, well, it's absolutely fucking HORRIFYING:

This crap brings our nation's image to a whole new level of sheer. I can't. I cannot!

Why is your name so stoops?

I was going to call this post "Dear Black Kids," but I realized that even my blog post name about a bad band name sounded like tard-city. 

Why? WHY!?!?? This group has been on the radar for a while, and in all sincerity I actually do like the music. They are poppy, and catchy, and cute. Their songs are about teaching people to dance, or making sexy-faces at crushes, amongst other pressing topics. I saw them walking down Kenmare Street together once, and they looked lost and as though they wanted to hold each other's hands. Basically, with any other name, I wouldn't be so aggravated.

I suppose it just seems like such a desperate ploy for attention, or a silly way to have your name stick into people's minds. Sort of like a ridiculous and annoying radio commercial that is obnoxious to the point where you are incapable of forgetting the product in question. "Black Kids." I mean, really??!! Out of any possibility in the world.

This problem will likely only become exaggerated as the months drag on into autumn, and people will increasingly catch on to the band, and their name will be tossed around ad infinitum. But I'm sorry, it is a problem. A big, stupid, trite problem in my sheer mind.

new(ish) music I'm obsessed with, Part 2

1. Lykke Li

2. Jealous Girlfriends

3. Jamie T

4. Greg Ashley

5. Chairlift

6. Professor Murder

7. Jana Hunter

8. Mobius Band

9. Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band

10. Bearsuit

Tonight!!

Who doesn't love booze and music and animals?

If you haven't got plans tonight, I highly suggest this benefit at Supreme Trading. Good music, good people, and a good cause.

XXOO

Tequila + Cupcake party

Sometimes, us girls are absolute cunts and deserve all the bad rap we get.

Other times, we are CLEARLY the superior sex, like when we come up with awesome bonding experiences. For example, last night's Tequila + Cupcake party at my place. Who needs men when you've got a bottle of Don Nacho, 6 hot biddies, cupcakes, a cute fuzzy puppy, crackers, board games, and an ipod on shuffle?

we love you Claire!

Daniel did it

One of my bestest bois in the world is on this season of Project Runway, and I'm elated by his progress!

I've never watched prior to this season, but with Danny up there and doing so well, I am like a doting fag-hag mommy. He is SO blatantly the most talented, least dramatic, and most attractive man on the whole cast. As much as I'm secretly obsessed with Blayne (or as I affectionately refer to him, "Chip and Pepper #3") his tan flesh pales in comparison to Danny's chicness.

Expect many rants/updates!

R. Stevie Moore = OUTRAGEOUS

So, I went to The Knitting Factory last night to see the Ariel Pink show, but the highlight of the night was certainly seeing R. Stevie Moore preform. I've been meaning to check him out for a while, and now I think I'm obsessed. He reminds me of my father (plus 50 lbs) on acid, super unkempt, and super angry at Miley Cyrus. CHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE BECAUSE ITS GREAT. 

GOT IT.

I look like a confused chimp while trying to operate it, but I hope to learn how to use this thing fast, so I don't feel like such a jerk for spending $300 on a phone. I'm absolute sheer consumer trash, I know. 

call me?

ultimate clusterf*ck of your life

I probably don't even need to ask you, because chances are that you were indeed at McCarren Pool on Sunday afternoon, or, er, at least standing outside of McCarren Pool in the drizzle and observing a bevy of hipsters, bridge and tunnel trash, and post-rehab Kiki Dunst wait in line for entrance to the MGMT/Black Moth Super Rainbow/Ting Tings show.

The pool parties are always a blast, and as long as you weren't being a wimp, this was no exception. What could be better then 10,000 drunk and rained-upon 20-somethings smoking soggy cigarettes and drinking $6 pints of flat beer? Answer: NOTHING!

To be honest, the sound was pretty bad - but that's probably just because there were a bazillion people talking the entire time, in a rainy, outdoor, cement pool. We didn't go so much for the music, as much as for the scene. Clustah-fuck 9,000!

(photos by Deb)