image from the bowels of hell of the week

There are no words.

LADY GAGA where have you been all summer!??!

This Lady GaGa person truly makes my day. She is like a tranny Gwen Stefani euro sheerling. I almost can't grasp this creature, or whether or not it is actually a male or female. Oh well, who even cares! Definitely going to down a full bottle of wine and blast this song while cleaning the apartment this weekend.....

outsourcing

Hi pups -

Soon enough I will be regularly contributing to freewilliamsburg.com, which means that I may be spending slightly less time updating over here. Make sure to check out my new stuff regularly, it should be a bunch of music coverage and other relevant info about what is going on in the 'hood and also plenty of absurd internet discoveries.

X to the O

try not to be J!

But off I go to North Carolina, to bask in the sun, sand. I may also watch an assortment of ridiculous DVDs, including E.T., Fear, Serial Mom, and/or Britt's box-set of The Critic. 

But mostly I will be in sun :)

Weekend at Bernie's-esque sheerness

MAN KEPT UPRIGHT AT HIS WAKE. 

For fuck's sake!

I don't know about you, but when I pass away, the last thing I would possibly want is my corpse to be sitting in a chair, overlooking my coffin, wearing sunglasses. Some people are just off. Just sooooo wrong. He looks like a freakish wax museum display.

Million Dollar Sheerlings

Why does Bravo always have the best reality shows? It's getting ridiculous, I have to divide my time between Project Runway, Flipping Out, Shear Genius (a fave of sheerblog's for obvious reasons!), and now Million Dollar Listing.

The show revolves around three arrogant and plastic young lads based out of LA, who spend their days selling expensive homes and worrying about their appearances. They were clearly all beaten by their fathers AND bullied through school, and have now developed penchants for replacing their feeble personalities and withered souls with capitalism.

My favorite real estate man-boy has to be Josh Flagg, the 21 year old (no, not the mop-topped 30 year old who LOOKS 21, that's Chad!) drunken/stoned megalomaniac guy who enjoys selling his friends' houses after they die AND negotiating deals with his insanely nefarious looking cosmetic dentist. Josh Flagg also has a few other things going for him:

-his grandmother invented polyester or something, and she seems cooler then him

-he might be 36% gay, which is always a bonus

-he isn't Chad. 

Read more about Josh here.

And watch the show tonight, please? I couldn't bear to see this one cancelled. Not after the devastation of Sam Sparro canceling his concert. STILL not ok with that.

RED ALERT, big, gay, RED ALERT of DEVASTATION

SAM SPARRO CANCELLED HIS SEPTEMBER SHOW AT MUSIC HALL OF WILLIAMSBURG. 

Once again, another reason to lose faith in the government. Sheesh!

www.musichallofwilliamsburg.com/calendar/show/1897/

This is not OK. I've been looking forward to September 17th for so long. How could he do this to me!?!??! Visa problems? WTF. Does anyone know anything about this, and/or when he might be rescheduling?

The Mighty Boosh.

My friend John clued me into this several days ago. Fucking hilarious!

TERRIFYING!

Whilst lunching in a DUMBO pizza joint today, I had the horrendous experience of witnessing the Steve Wilkos Show. That's right. Steve Wilkos - ya know, the quiet bodyguard guy from the Jerry Springer Show. The security guy who would block angry spouses from punching eachother and would try and prevent midgets from exposing their nether-regions. 

He has his own show now, and, well, it's absolutely fucking HORRIFYING:

This crap brings our nation's image to a whole new level of sheer. I can't. I cannot!

Why is your name so stoops?

I was going to call this post "Dear Black Kids," but I realized that even my blog post name about a bad band name sounded like tard-city. 

Why? WHY!?!?? This group has been on the radar for a while, and in all sincerity I actually do like the music. They are poppy, and catchy, and cute. Their songs are about teaching people to dance, or making sexy-faces at crushes, amongst other pressing topics. I saw them walking down Kenmare Street together once, and they looked lost and as though they wanted to hold each other's hands. Basically, with any other name, I wouldn't be so aggravated.

I suppose it just seems like such a desperate ploy for attention, or a silly way to have your name stick into people's minds. Sort of like a ridiculous and annoying radio commercial that is obnoxious to the point where you are incapable of forgetting the product in question. "Black Kids." I mean, really??!! Out of any possibility in the world.

This problem will likely only become exaggerated as the months drag on into autumn, and people will increasingly catch on to the band, and their name will be tossed around ad infinitum. But I'm sorry, it is a problem. A big, stupid, trite problem in my sheer mind.

new(ish) music I'm obsessed with, Part 2

1. Lykke Li

2. Jealous Girlfriends

3. Jamie T

4. Greg Ashley

5. Chairlift

6. Professor Murder

7. Jana Hunter

8. Mobius Band

9. Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band

10. Bearsuit

Tonight!!

Who doesn't love booze and music and animals?

If you haven't got plans tonight, I highly suggest this benefit at Supreme Trading. Good music, good people, and a good cause.

XXOO

Tequila + Cupcake party

Sometimes, us girls are absolute cunts and deserve all the bad rap we get.

Other times, we are CLEARLY the superior sex, like when we come up with awesome bonding experiences. For example, last night's Tequila + Cupcake party at my place. Who needs men when you've got a bottle of Don Nacho, 6 hot biddies, cupcakes, a cute fuzzy puppy, crackers, board games, and an ipod on shuffle?

we love you Claire!

Daniel did it

One of my bestest bois in the world is on this season of Project Runway, and I'm elated by his progress!

I've never watched prior to this season, but with Danny up there and doing so well, I am like a doting fag-hag mommy. He is SO blatantly the most talented, least dramatic, and most attractive man on the whole cast. As much as I'm secretly obsessed with Blayne (or as I affectionately refer to him, "Chip and Pepper #3") his tan flesh pales in comparison to Danny's chicness.

Expect many rants/updates!