the good, the bad, the sheer

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Sam J. Miller’s 25-Word Movie Reviews

The Rumpus has a new film review feature that's easy to appreciate: 25-Word Movie Reviews. Taking off on the Twitter-esque 140 character standard, these reviews sum it all up. They might not be relevant in a timely sense, but anyone that can tie together "Changeling" and "Dances With Wolves" in one post is enough to impress me. Here are some examples of telling it like it is:

Changeling (Clint Eastwood, 2008)
This horrible horrible movie’s plot: Angelina Jolie weeping/pleading/cowering/being tortured. Unwatchable. Offensive. Solely for those who get off on watching women suffer.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Gavin Hood, 2009)
I can do this one in three: weird and stupid. Also? They cut the hot gay trailer sex scene where Liev Schreiber tops Dominic Monaghan.

Dances with Wolves (Kevin Costner, 1990)
Four hour movies should be illegal. Mary McDonnell is my messiah now. Lovely scenery; solid music, competent-if-unremarkable directing. Also? White people are evil.

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