the good, the bad, the sheer

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

CELEBelixer, March 12th

This week's lucky winner......
Today's amazing and completely metaphorical cocktail goes straight down the esophagus of Ashley Alexandra Dupre! With Lord knows whatever else has traveled through your orifices, you've proved once again that the world is full of horned-up liars and meglomaniacal hypocrites. Plus you have a funny song that is sure to be a hit for maybe 30 seconds beyond your 15 minutes of fame.
Damn baybee, from one sheer piece of jersey trash to another, I'd like to serve you an ice cold pina colada, just like the kind you used to drink out of an oversized neon beaker whilst stumbling down the Seaside Heights boardwalk all those years ago in High School. You've distinguished yourself from other notable hookers in history: you brought a political party to its knees, whilst confirming your "alive" status via daily checking of your Myspace page. 
I dream of the day when we can go fake-baking together and you can give me all the salacious details of the senior citizen weenie that you had to look at. Until then, sip this trashy bevvie and keep on rawkin' gurl. 

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