the good, the bad, the sheer

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

CELEBelixer, March 5th

Sheer! presents this week's winner.....

drink: champagne (served in baby bottle)
jukebox dedication: "girls just wanna have fun" by cyndi lauper

Each week, we play the role of barmaid in our imaginary dive bar and give an imaginary cocktail to a celebrity who really really earned a stiff drink this week.

This time around, the drink is on the house for Dannielyn Hope Marshall Stern. Firstly, she has a really irritatingly long name. Secondly, this little trooper has already endured one hell of a trainwreck life since she popped out of her mom's crazy vajayjay 18 months ago. There was the brother's death, then the mother's death, as well as the shitshow of a custody battle slash media circus slash inheritance drama. LASTLY, she just won ALL of that fucking money. damn homegirl, you best go treat yo'self to something niiiiiiice.

Dear Dannielyn, we salute you and would like to serve you some champagne out of your baby bottle. It's probably not the ideal scenario for you to be consuming booze before you can even form complete sentences, but we figure you are pretty much going to be royally effed up for your entire life, so you might as well enjoy it while you are young. Sugarpie. PS - call Sean Preston if you want to have a reaaaaaalllyyy wild time. i heard that kid is KRAYZEEE

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